Collins Nothing Short Of a Renaissance Man

Pete Prisco, CBSSports.com Reporting

NASHVILLE, Tenn.-- Friday afternoon in NFL locker rooms is considered scram time. Players often take quick showers and dress fast after practice with an eye on a big night out. Friday is the chosen night of most players during the season since they have little to do on Saturday, save for a walk-through or a flight out of town.

The potential fun was even more of a focus on this particular Friday. In the Tennessee Titans locker room, loud music blared from a corner area setting the party tone early, with some players rocking to the hip-hop beat and others loudly singing along.

Clear on the other side of the locker room sits a solitary man, his back to the scene, his face buried in some notebook paper.

That was where Kerry Collins, the aging quarterback, sat studying some offensive concepts in preparation for Sunday's game. He seems far removed from his younger teammates and their thoughts about the night to come.

He was in no rush out the door. It's not that way for him anymore.

Collins was once the life of that party -- or any party. He played hard and fast off the field when he came into the league in 1995 as a first-round pick of the Carolina Panthers. He got caught up in all the trappings that being a young, rich, popular NFL quarterback can bring.
That now seems like a lifetime ago.
It's hard to imagine this man sitting at his locker was once that guy. As many of his teammates prepared for a night out, Collins was preparing for something so much more special to him, which was to sepnd time with his 4 1/2-year-old daughter, Riley. It is now a lot more fun to him than anything else.
"I can't wait for that," Collins said. "She's the most special thing I've got going in my life. I can't mess that up. I won't mess that up."

Collins is at a good place in his life. Not only does he have a loving wife and daughter, but he's also the starting quarterback for the only unbeaten team in the NFL. When the season started, it appeared he'd be a backup to Vince Young, his career ending charting plays. When Young got hurt, Collins went in and he isn't giving the job back.

At 35, his is one of those feel-good stories. Collins wasn't sure if he'd ever get another chance to start again. If he didn't get this one, he was ready to hang it up.

"I was either going to find a starting job or that would be it," Collins said. "I was done if it didn't work out."

Some thought he was done a long time ago. This is a man who has dealt with many demons in his day, demons that caused him to seek therapy for stretches, demons that nearly derailed his career.

Collins came into the league as the fifth player taken in the 1995 draft by Carolina. He was a big, strong-armed passer who the Panthers thought would be the cornerstone of their franchise. For a while, he was that. He led the team to the NFC Championship Game in 1996. But while things were good on the outside, they were tearing him up inside. Collins had a tough time dealing with celebrity. The spotlight didn't have a switch for him to turn off, and he hated it.

"If you're talking specifically about the drinking and the partying, a lot of that was because I did not feel comfortable being a so-called celebrity," Collins said. "A lot of it was escaping. A lot of it was a front. I was much more shy than people thought. I tried to hide a lot of that .... with alcohol.

"I'm the life of the party when I'm drinking. You know what I'm saying? I felt I needed to be that way, more gregarious. I tried to be that way the best way I could and that was to party and all that stuff. It wasn't who I was. I just had to start being myself."

Before he did, Collins' career nearly collapsed. He wasn't dedicated to the craft like he is now. Once he left the facility in Carolina, it was time for fun, not work. Football was work.

"I didn't want to think about football," Collins said.

In 1997, while drinking with teammates, he called one a racial slur. That led to a punch, which led to him being labeled a racist. He has said it's one of his biggest regrets and it has taken time to prove to others that he isn't. That's a tough label to shake.

So is being a drunk. They didn't call him Vodka Collins for nothing. The Panthers released him after the 1997 season. The interceptions piled up. The nightlife was taking a toll. He played for the New Orleans Saints in 1998 and got a DUI arrest that year. The Saints released him -- he was floundering.

Collins eventually went to rehab. He got the help he needed.

"He's always taken responsibility for his actions," said Indianapolis Colts president Bill Polian, the man who drafted Collins in Carolina. "He's never been one to blame anybody else. He's taken the burden of a lot of undue criticism with little or no support from the people around him. He's taken responsibility and he's grown. I can't say it's unexpected. That's the kind of person he is. It doesn't surprise me."

He bounced back from his low time and led the New York Giants to the Super Bowl after the 2000 season. The Giants didn't win, but Collins was a huge winner. Life was good. He met his wife. He was sober. I asked him if his wife would have even dated the old Collins. He smiled.

"Probably not," he said.

The Collins she met was a changed man.

"She came along at the right time," he said. "I knew myself better. I know myself better now. I'm better off at 35 than I was at 25. I don't want to go back to my 20s. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin at 35 than I did at 25. I wouldn't trade what happened for anything. I gave myself a chance to grow and learn and become a better person. I recognize the past. But there's no sense in living in the past. What happened keeps me humble.

"Were there things that I wish I would have done differently? Absolutely. I think what I went through and what I overcame is a part of that. It's made me who I am."

Who he is: Father, husband, starting quarterback and teammate.

The starting quarterback role might be the most shocking. This was Young's team when camp opened. This was to be his breakout season, the first-round pick with star writer all over him. Collins was expected to be a veteran insurance policy.

Then things went bad for Young and Collins seized the opportunity. Young had trouble off the field. There was talk of suicide, which he denied. When Collins went in, coach Jeff Fisher said he would keep the job as long as the Titans were playing well. They still are and Collins won't give it back -- not after what he's been through.

The stubbly beard on Collins' face has more gray in it now than brown, which is sign that he's not a young kid anymore. But Collins is in fantastic shape, which has helped him with his quickness on the field. At 229 pounds, he weighs less than he did at Penn State in the early 1990s.

"He's in the best shape of his life," Titans offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger said. "The one thing with a guy his age is you worry how long he can go as a starter. But he's in the best shape. He feels good right now."

Collins cut down on his portion sizes to drop the weight.

"I still pig out once in a while," he said.

He does drink a beer or two on occasion as well. That could be dangerous for some who've had drinking troubles, but he said the past makes him cautious.

"It's not an every day thing," he said. "I'm always careful because of my past."

As he spoke, he stopped to spit out a wad of chew.

"My last real vice," he said, chuckling.

His turnaround is a great story. It's made even better because he has so many admirers around the league -- none bigger than Polian.

"He's as tough a son of gun as I've been around," Polian said. "He's had some bumps in the road, but he's overcome them. He's matured and he's grown up. Except two times a year, I root for him."

The Titans are a run-first team, which has many labeling Collins as one of those manage-the-game quarterbacks. But he showed in the 19-16 overtime victory over the Packers last Sunday that he could win games with his arm with late-game drives.

"I know he can do it," Heimerdinger said. "I've said since the beginning that we were really lucky to have Kerry Collins. At any time, he was ready to go in. Not everybody in this league has Kerry Collins as a backup ready to go in. I never thought we'd skip a beat because he's that type of leader, that type of quarterback."

If the Titans get to a Super Bowl, the Collins story will be front and center. His would be an inspiring one for those trying to overcome problems. Like many with issues, he's dealt with them head on -- and he's a better man for it.

"I'm a human story just like everybody else," Collins said. "I was in a different set of circumstances because I was in the NFL, but my story is a lot like a lot of people's stories. It's my life. I don't regret anything that happened. I had an unbelievable experience, both good and bad. It would be a heck of a book if I decide to write it. I learned like everybody else to live the right way and to make better decisions for my career and my life."

As his teammates readied to head out, I asked Collins if he missed that. He looked around and answered bluntly.

"I wouldn't trade where I am for anything in the world," he said. "I wouldn't go back to that for anything."

Not with a little girl waiting at home, ready for him.

"All she cares about is daddy," Collins said. "None of the other stuff matters. That's the best thing in the world."

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